Flash fiction – Looking for trouble


17 May 2017 by victoriaknowe

bag-1854148_640Another super-short snippet. A situation at school leads to an attempted warning for a family member.

The prompt for this piece was to write a story of max 300 words, containing the words book, search, empty.


Looking for trouble


By the time I realise the danger, it’s too late. I’m already through the school gates, being pressed forward by the crowd of students behind me.

The search tables are a sadly familiar sight these days. My pink clutch contains nothing but make-up and a book, but my palms start sweating for my cousin Ronnie. I know he’ll be late to school and won’t have time to hide his drugs before being searched. I hate that he’s the school dealer, but he’s still family. I try to call him, ducking my head low, but his phone is switched off.

The sun is unbearable and the queue moves slowly. When I’m finally inside the cool lobby, I ignore my classmates making their way to our first lesson and race upstairs to the school’s clock tower. I have to try and signal to Ronnie. Sticking my arm outside, I use my compact mirror to try and direct light towards the school gates. If he sees the flash, it might make him think twice before entering.

Holding my arm steady is excruciating, and sweat trickles down my back. Finally Ronnie comes sauntering through the gates, but he’s talking to a friend and for all my desperate trying, I can’t make the reflected beam hit him full in the face. He’s caught by the bag search.

I race back downstairs, but Ronnie is walking away from the tables with a surprised expression. I go close and mutter. “Didn’t you bring anything today?”

“Yeah,” he whispers, “but they totally ignored it all. Can you believe?”

Just then, we see a student with an empty expression being led past by two dark-clothed men. It’s Luke. I only know him as the smartest kid in school.

If the search wasn’t for drugs, what were they looking for?



6 thoughts on “Flash fiction – Looking for trouble

  1. lynnpayne55 says:

    I read this with mixed feelings as the subject is a really touchy one (for me anyway). I hate the thought that lots of schools actually have this search thing and many in USA have to go through gun detectors to get in. Eeeeeeek.
    This storyette conjures up atmosphere and excitement really well and the pace is excellent. I love the twist at the end and once more you’ve left it to our imagination to decide what the search was about. I expect it’s good for me to have to think for myself, but when I’m tired (only all the time) I just want to be spoon-fed things. Oh well, I won’t be able to get it out of my head for a while.
    Using the word “empty” for Luke’s expression is really clever – I would have gone with using empty for the more conventional ’empty bag’ or ’empty pockets’, not having your twisting mind.
    Well done, it’s great.

    • Thanks for the comments. It’s great to hear how you feel during and after reading it. I really like the word “storyette” 🙂 That was the first use of the word ’empty’ that came into my “twisting” brain, haha!

  2. Margot Gardner says:

    They could have been looking for bulls eyes – bad for the teeth! Margot Here.

Comment on this

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: